Two boys in a first grade classroom were arguing loudly over an item they both wanted to use at the same time.
Their teacher approached them in a friendly way and said, Boys, it sounds like you two are having a problem. Lets talk it out.
One of the boys told his side of the story, his face still tense but his voice lowered to an indoor volume. The second boy listened and then, without any prompting, came up with a solution to which the first boy readily agreed.
Great job! the teacher beamed. See? You can talk it out!
A TEACHING PERSPECTIVE CAN PRODUCE AMAZING RESULTS WHEN KIDS BEHAVE INAPPROPRIATELY.
If we as parents approach unwanted behavior with the idea that our job is to be the judge/jury/jailer, our first impulse may be to punish.
But punishment doesnt teach kids what they SHOULD be doing. It doesnt expand kids problem-solving skills, teach them how to repair social mistakes, or improve their social perception.
Fortunately, punishment isnt the only available tool.
WE CAN CHOOSE TO VIEW THE INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
When the teacher in the story above heard the two boys arguing, she...