Joint Custody: 10 Strategies for Co-Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex
Almost six years ago, when the father of my children and I divorced, we wholeheartedly agreed to share joint custody of our two children, who were 3 and 6 years old at that time.
During our nine years of marriage, we had never argued about parenting philosophies or values. I saw no indication that parenting after divorce would be any different.
So, with the help of lots of books and research, I set about creating a lovely best-case scenario of how it would be after the divorce: co-hosting birthday parties, welcoming each others new partners into an extended and joyful family unit, sitting together at their school and sporting events while beaming with pride at the accomplishments of our beautiful children, and getting on the same page with mealtimes, bedtimes, etc., so that there would be as much consistency between our two home as possible. These are wonderful and healthy ideas, and many co-parents I know have achieved them.
But I forgot to allow for one critical variable in my lovely scenario. I had assumed that my kids’ dad would want to participate in this optimal...