Irene, in her late 40s, had been in an out of treatment centers for years before consulting with me. When in treatment, she was fine, with no desire to drink, but once she returned home with her husband, Frank, and two adolescent children, it didn’t take long before she was back to drinking. Even though she faithfully attended AA meetings, she could not stay sober once she returned home. She loved her husband and children and could not understand why she could not stay sober at home. Each time she went back to drinking, she would hate herself for her weakness, seeing herself as a deeply flawed, defective person. She believed that the problem was entirely hers – that her family had nothing to do with it.
“What changes regarding how you feel when you go home?” I asked her on one of our phone sessions.
“I feel trapped. I feel controlled and suffocated, like I can’t be myself.”
“What happens that make you feel so trapped?”
“I don’t know. Frank is such a sweet and wonderful man, and I know that he really loves me. And I love him. I don’t get what is happening that makes me feel so...
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