Celine was just starting to date again after a difficult breakup. She was feeling anxious because she didnt want to go through another unhappy relationship, but she didnt trust herself to make good choices. She sought my help in learning how to discern a promising relationship from one that is bound to fail.
In Celines last relationship, she had been pulled in by Garys ardent pursuit of her. She had wanted to go slower but didnt listen to herself. Instead, she gave herself up to Garys attention and compliments.
Celine, my experience with men who come on strong right away is that they are often controlling and needy. Is that what happened with Gary?
Yes. He seemed so loving and open at the beginning, but once we were in a committed relationship, he started to pull on me for time and attention. He became critical and angry and petulant when I didnt give him what he wanted. How could I have known all this at the beginning? What should I look for now that Im dating again?
Celine had gone on one date with a man named Mark. After this first date, Mark emailed her, saying that he wanted to spend a lot of time with her and go on a trip with...