Complaining is a way of life for some people. It was certainly a way of life for my mother. I dont remember a day going by without her complaining, endlessly. I dont think I ever heard a word of gratitude out of my mothers mouth. No matter how good things were, she would manage to find something wrong. No matter how perfect I was and God knows I tried to be perfect! she always found something wrong with me, as well as with my father.
Over the years of counseling others, Ive noticed that some people start every session with a complaint. They cant seem to help it. Like my mother, they are addicted to complaining.
Why do people complain? What is it they want or hope for when they complain?
People who complain are generally people who have not done the emotional and spiritual work of developing a loving, compassionate inner adult self. They are operating as a wounded child in need of love, attention and compassion. Because they have not learned to give themselves the attention and compassion they need, they seek to get these needs met by others. Complaining is a way they have learned to attempt to get this. They use complaining as a form of control, hoping to...