Michael was raised in a home where anger was used to control. His parents used their anger to attempt to control each other as well as their children. Sometimes the anger erupted into violence and Michael and his siblings would get physically hurt. Michael never knew when one of his parents would suddenly become enraged, so the threat was always there.
Michael was the oldest of four children and was often put in charge of taking care of his siblings. He often took out on his siblings his fear and rage at being abused by his parents. While some part of Michael didnt want to be like his parents, this was all he knew.
As an adult, Michael struggles with his frequent anger at his wife and children. His wife threatened to leave him if he didnt get some help, which is what led him to consult with me.
Michael, anger is often used to cover up another, more painful feeling. What do you think you are covering up with your anger? I asked.
I dont know. I just get so frustrated and then out comes the anger.
What did you feel as a child, besides scared, when your parents were angry and violent with you?
I guess I felt pretty much alone.
You...