Bonding With Your Partner Without Candles, Wine Or Lingerie!
Summary: Many partners attempt to bond with candles, wine or lingerie, only to find their time together feeling flat, empty and passionless. In this article, discover what really creates bonding, intimacy and passion with your partner.
A journalist interviewed me regarding intimacy in relationships. One of her questions was, What are some of the easy ways in which husband and wife can bond – without candles and wine and expensive lingerie?
Easy ways? Well, it depends on what you mean by easy!
Bonding has nothing to do with candles, wine and expensive lingerie. It has to do with INTENT. In any given moment we are in one of two possible intents:
The intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain
The intent to learn about being loving to ourselves and to others
Virtually all of us have learned many ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We learned these protective behaviors when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these learned controlling behaviors, such as anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or...