As the saying goes “It takes two to tango.” Well, it also takes two to argue. It is impossible to have an argument with someone if they don’t participate. If your goal is to reach a solution and create a win/win outcome, arguing isn’t the route to take. Instead the best way to reach a collaborative conclusion is to ask questions.
We are taught to ask questions in coaching so the other person can hear in their own words the solutions. In fact it is said that coaches do not ask questions so they can hear the answer, but so the client can hear the answer. Questions allow the person to take ownership and responsibility for the solution. Although there are times, when coaching a client, that I already know the answer. It is more powerful to allow my client to come to it on their own in their own words. The same works in an argument. If all you want to do is argue, questioning isn’t likely to be helpful. If you want to co-create a solution questioning can assist in creating a solution that will be agreeable to both parties.
As an adjunct faculty member at a local University, I find that it is useless to argue or try to reason with students...
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