I am surprised how many people I talk to that have missed out on some of the most foundational experiences of childhood. I love counseling couples and families and helping them find creative ways to spend family time together and to enjoy the smallest things in life together. So as I worked with a family last fall, I suggested that they spend the upcoming Saturday doing nothing but carving pumpkins together.
I was astounded and a little bit frustrated when the three children looked at each other and then to their parents without the slighest clue of what I was suggesting. They had never carved a pumpkin. But not only that, these children had also never even purchased pumpkins for their front porch during the harvest season. Their parents laughed with a bit of embarrassment and tried to justify the situation to me.
I wasn’t interested in hearing excuses about why the kids were deprived of such a normal and fun childhood experience like choosing and carving a pumpkin. Instead, I just wanted to hear these parents verbalize a commitment to their children to spend Saturday rectifying the situation. In any family therapy session it is important to not look...