Forgiveness is difficult for many people because, too often, we think to forgive is also to condone, to say, “Oh, that’s ok.” We put up barriers to forgiving others because of this notion. Many times, in fact, most times what needs to be forgiven is NOT ok. It was not ok to have happened, it is not ok to do again — it’s just simply NOT ok. So, unless the offender asks for forgiveness with sincerity and remorse (and sometimes even when they do,) we often find it difficult to forgive.
If you look up the word ‘forgive’ in the dictionary, one of the definitions you’ll find is: to cease to feel resentment against. Forgiving, ceasing to feel resentment against, someone or something benefits who? You. Forgiving benefits YOU.
Forgiving, ceasing to feel resentment against,that’s all about you, not them. Granted, they might also benefit if you no longer feel resentment toward them, but the change occurs within YOU when you forgive another, not the reverse. The decision to forgive is yours. The act of forgiving is an act YOU undertake, and the feelings changing as a result are yours, as well.
For a very long time,...
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