My heart was as shattered as the broken glass I was sitting in. Oh, the ache inside. The emotional pain was persistent and unyielding. At times, it was simply deafening. Sleepless nights filled with anxiety left me in a fetal position as I lay in the floor and would rock back and forward, back and forward hour after hour. I mustered the last bit of energy I had, and faintly whispered, Jesus, Jesus as I rocked. I had no other words. Just raw pain and open wounds of multiple losses and rejection. I did not know how to make the pain stop. I was angry. I was hurt. I was sad. I was depressed.
Consequently, chronic pain began in my neck. I could not turn my head from side to side. The physical and emotional pain overwhelmed me to the point of absolute hopelessness and despair.
Soon, I was bombarded with thoughts of suicide day and night. I did not really want to die. But, I did want the pain to end. I wanted those who treated me unjustly to suffer the pain of loss and rejection I had experienced. I wanted them to feel indescribable anguish and guilt for conditional love. I wanted them to forever grieve the day they rejected me. I wanted them to pay for the pain and...