The fifth affair I outline in my book, “Break Free From The Affair” is called: “I Want to Get Back at Him/Her.” This is the revenge affair.
It occurs in a marriage in which one feels slighted in some manner and seeks revenge by engaging in infidelity. It is less a movement toward the other person and more a movement away from ones spouse.
Key Points:
1. The affair may be a direct response to the affair of the spouse. Ill show you! Take this! I want you to hurt as much as I hurt. Or the affair may be revenge for some other form of cut-off or perceived emotional injury: Im not getting enough here, so Ill show you! Or, There, I got your attention!
2. This typically occurs in a marriage where effective personal confrontation does not happen or happens ineffectively. There is a mistrust of expressing ones self fully to the other person. The marriage relationship usually is marked by civility, but the two, in essence, do not know each other very well. They are polite, but there is no fire. They may want more, but are not sure how to get more.
3. The fire that does exist is a smoldering tension under the surface of the...
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