(This is part 1 of a 5-part series on making marriage work)
It was Joans first counseling session with me, but it didnt take long before the tears began to stream down her cheeks. Im married to the man of my dreams, but Im miserable, she said, reaching a hand up to wipe away her tears. We were so in love and now things are falling apart. We are fighting and distant much of the time. I love Justin and I dont want to lose him, but I dont know what to do. I dont know why this is happening. I seem to be getting angrier and angrier and he is getting more and more distant.
What are you angry about? I inquired.
Justin keeps pulling away from me. Hes working longer and longer hours. But even on the weekends when he is home, he just seems to be distant. Hes either watching TV, playing computer games, or in the garage working in his workshop. When I try to talk with him about it, he shuts down even more. We cant talk at all anymore.
Like Joan and Justin, many couples are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship system, wondering what happened to the love and passion they had at the beginning of their relationship.
Two major fears may be undermining your...