Nightclub For Baby Boomes Raided; Patrons Nabbed For Dropping Antacid
A trendy new nightclub that caters to baby boomers who find themselves unexpectedly single was raided by police last night. Acting on a tip from a twenty-something couple who entered the hotspot by accident, police were able to determine that many of the partying patrons were dropping antacid.
The owner, who was taken away in cuffs, claimed, I had no idea some of the customers were dropping that stuff. But somehow they were smuggling it past the bouncers Alka-Seltzer, Tums, Rolaids, you name it. Had I known, I would have slipped them some complimentary club soda.
A female boomer noted, as she was being booked, I admit it. Ive become addicted to Alka-Seltzer How would you like to be in your fifties and be back out on the meat market? I just hope my children understand.
A male patron, who was apprehended while attempting to escape as fast as he could amble down the street, lamented, Im single, Im upset, so no wonder I need regular doses of Mylanta. And theres nothing I wont do to get it rob, murder, even pick up a bottle at the drugstore.
To the relief of the distraught...
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