Rudy and Marjorie were on the verge of divorce. Married 12 years, they had constant verbal battles ending in what therapists call call emotional disengagement meaning that they simply ignored each other for days on end.
Emotionally, they were simmering inside and also lonely for each other, but were unable to reach out and communicate these feelings. They were in a cold war with both waiting for the other to make the first move to melt the icy atmosphere.
This couple suffers a common marital maladylack of skills to repair emotional damage done to each other. According to marital research, almost all couples fight; what often separates the “masters” of marriage from the disasters of marriage is the ability to repair the subsequent damage.
Acquiring good repair skills gives the couple a way to recover from the mistakes they may have made. These repair skills provide afix for the damage caused in attempting to communicate to each other other in a way that caused emotional hurt to one or both of them.
It is common for partners to make relationship mistakes – after all, anyone can have a bad day, be under too much stress or just use poor...