In a culture full of reasons to say “no,” it takes a lot of courage to find ways to say “yes.”
We’re taught to say “no” from a very young age, after all. For most of us, our first word was “no”, and it quickly became our favorite word. As toddlers and teenagers, we used “no” to
differentiate ourselves from our parents, peers, and surroundings. It’s how we began to control what was happening around us, or at least, how we tried to control that. It helped us over those early developmental hurdles, and gave us our earliest sense of our personal boundaries — and that’s a lot of significance bound up in such a tiny word!
The problem isn’t that “no” in and of itself is somehow bad; indeed, giving yourself permission to say “no” as an adult can keep you out of an awful lot of trouble.
The problem is that “No” begins to take on a life of its own. Too often, that life is yours.
Life is change, and “no” becomes a way of slowing down that change, or trying to stop it altogether. It is a shield we use to protect...