“I Want to Get Back at Him/Her” is one of 6 kinds of affairs I outline in my E-book.
This is the “revenge affair.” It occurs in a marriage in which one feels slighted in some manner and seeks revenge by engaging in an affair.
It is less a movement toward the other person and more a movement away from ones spouse. The offending spouse usually lacks the skills of personal confrontation or is frightened by the prospect of someone “getting upset.”
When evaluating this kind of affair, make a distinction between revenge and rage. Revenge is not rage. Rage comes from a different source, as outlined in one of the other kinds of affairs.
Here are some characteristics of the person who uses infidelity as revenge:
1. Usually is rather unpredictable and erratic in his behavior.
2. Has a hard time making decisions.
3. Is often impatient and irritable when things dont go her way.
4. Some of the resentment seems to seep out along the edges, maybe when you least expect it.
5. Engages in teasing.
6. Can be stubborn and unyielding.
7. May often take oppositional view and...