While we shouldnt needlessly flatter we must make it a goal to encourage. Regrettably, we tend only to welcome results as opposed to effort. Several of us condemn much more than we eulogize, thereby dampening fervor and squelching confidence. One teacher who was counseled about his fifteen-year-old student, Matthew, exclaimed, He never does anything right!
Anything?? Now thats Impossible!
Grownups do it to adults as well. Why do several of us so concentrate on anothers fiascos or disappointments? Oftentimes, it is because you want to establish that you are smarter than me, that you are superior. Or, you want to demonstrate that you were right and that I was mistaken. Or, you want to express how much more honor you have than I do.
There is yet an additional reason some of us are very disparaging and intolerant. Unhappy people vent their disappointment and resentments at handy targets. Condemnation often serves as a ready made avenue for the articulation of your rage and your sense that the world has dealt you an inequitable hand. Furthermore, when you condemn, you dont have to accept your reservoir of anger. You can cloak your remarks in noble robes, for...