Do you trust your feelings and take action for yourself based on your feelings? Many of us grew up learning to mistrust our feelings. “Don’t be ridiculous,” my mother often said to me when I asked her why she was angry. “I’m not angry,” she would say with anger in her voice. “Don’t be ridiculous” was what I often heard in response to many of my feelings. So I learned to mistrust my feelings. It took me many years of inner work to regain trust in my feelings.
Feelings are information. Our feelings such as anger, anxiety, depression, and hurt are letting us know that we are telling ourselves something that is not true, or treating ourselves in unloving ways. Our uncomfortable or lonely feelings around another person may be telling us that the other person is being judgmental, needy, angry, blaming or inauthentic.
For example, Sally consulted with me because she often found herself repulsed by her husband’s sexual advances. She was confused because she loved Tim very much, and there were times when she was sexually attracted to him. But most of the time she was turned off to him.
“Sally, when...