Often in our interactions with family and friends, problems being encountered would inevitably be brought up. Inevitably too, in trying to be helpful, we often react by giving advice on how to solve the problem.
However, this is generally not recommended, for the following reasons:
We assume we know what the problem is and forget to be a listener, to find out enough details about the problem and the other person’s point of view.
We forget to extend empathy to the woes of the other person.
We get ‘credit’ for being the one to give the advice since the advice is likely to be something that the adviser has done or others have done that was successful. So if the listener does not succeed or had done it before but it was not successful, the implication is that it is not because the advice was not good, but the listener has not applied it well. This tends to make the advisee feel stupid and incompetent.
When we give advice, we’re talking ‘down’ to the other person as we become the ‘expert’. We’re so eager to talk and show our knowledge and ‘wisdom’ that we do not interact at...