People tell me over and over how impossible it seems to change their unwanted attitudes and that they have no idea why this is. If youre reading this book, clearly you want to make changes in your life. If you want these changes to last, youll need to understand the how and why of guilt and resentment. How things you experienced in dealing with your parents and siblings created self-defeating patterns in you. Why these very same self-defeating patterns keep you from functioning as well as you can, or from being the person youd like to be. All the willpower you have and the new years resolutions you make will not help you function better or assist you in becoming the person you truly do want to be. Why? Because long after youve left your family, your childhood patterns continue to show up and impose themselves in your adult life.
Ever heard the joke about the young man who calls his mother and asks her how shes feeling? With a moan, she replies, Oh, I havent been doing well at all. Whats wrong, Mom? he asks. Well, I havent eaten for thirty days. How come? She replies, Because I didnt want to have my mouth full in case you called.
Why do we laugh at that joke?...
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